French food etiquette and the dangers of a cheeseboard

Each country has it's own rules and customs, and the dinner table tends to be where they are most visible.  Dining in polite company can be intimidating for a visitor abroad. 

In France it is important to have both hands visible while eating.  This means that if you are sipping soup, for example, holding a spoon in one hand, then the idle hand should be poised, the wrist resting lightly on the edge of the table. Basically you're proving that you haven't got a weapon on your knees beneath the table!

The cheeseboard is served after the main dish and before dessert.   At a dinner between friends it is passed once around the table, generally each person steadies the platter while their neighbour cuts pieces from the cheese of their choice, and this is where it can get sticky.

What is the right way to cut each cheese? ... !!

To know how to cut the cheese you have to identify which sort of cheese it is.  Is it a slice cut from a large hard cheese like an emmenthal, is it an individual soft creamy camembert, a soft round goats cheese, or a chunk of creamy roquefort?

I can't remember where I found this clever diagram, but it demonstrates precisely how each sort of cheese should be served.

Of course here, since the French love to talk about the food before them, while the cheese is enjoyed there will also be much discussion about where each cheese comes from, which is the best wine to have with it, where to find the best cheese locally etc etc ... happy days!